November 2010
Tracy and I are sitting on the curb outside of our house
waiting for a text. Her hand reaches out for mine and she gives it a gentle
squeeze. I kick the dirt with my sneaker and take a deep breath. We
are all smiles and nerves and giddiness.
Andy is inside. Doing his part for the making of a baby and
we are waiting for the OK to come back. We’ve done this dance a few times now and it’s becoming a bit
more normal. As normal as it can be to have a man you met online producing
sperm in your spare room. But there is an electricity in the air today. The
timing is perfect. My uterus feels ready. I feel ready.
The phone in my hand buzzes and I look down to see Andy’s “OK.”
Our text history is just a series of OKs. Two letters meant to signify that it
is safe to return. His part is done. Now it’s on us.
I move quickly into the house and into my bedroom before he
emerges from the spare room. We agreed that since I will be pushing a
watermelon sized child out of a substantially smaller hole that she should be
the one to do the sperm hand-off. Fair is fair. She enters our bedroom a moment
later with an artichoke jar full of sperm kept warm in her sports bra and a big
smile on her face.
“Are you ready to become a mom today?” I ask her.
“So ready,” she smiles back.
March 2011
The overhead lights at the hospital are bright and I can
feel them warming my exposed belly. The contraction monitor jumps as Mac tries
to kick it off from the inside. We rushed to the hospital, scared we were loosing
him, and now we are just waiting. The hurry-up and wait is hard. Mac kicks,
offering me gentle reassurances that he will not be arriving early. I reach out
for Tracy’s hand and put it on my belly.
“Can you feel that?” I ask her.
“I’m not ready to become a mom today,” she responds.
“You won’t be,” I assure her.
“Can you feel that?” I ask her.
“I’m not ready to become a mom today,” she responds.
“You won’t be,” I assure her.
August 2011
I am hot. And tired. And very very pregnant. The kind of
pregnant that makes people wince and sigh sympathetically. Suddenly I have an
overwhelming need to go out for breakfast. I want one more date before the baby
arrives. I’m too pregnant for Tracy to say no to anything I ask so we go.
That night she rubs my belly and tells me she’s going to
miss it. I roll my eyes. Easy for her to say. At this moment I can’t imagine
missing the swelling, the sweating, the sciatica.
I glance over at the clock, counting, the pain is getting
predictable. Every ten minutes. Lasting a minute.
“Are you ready to become a mom today?” I ask my wife.
“Really?” she asks with eyes wide.
April 2012
I’m flipping through the mail. It’s mostly junk mail. Bills
come electronically these days. But one envelope looks different from the
others. “Tracy Lynn Ireland” is hand written on the front and the return
address has an official looking stamp.
“Babe I think it’s here,” I pass her the envelope. Like a
kid on Christmas morning she tears it open. She’s all smiles and nerves and
giddiness.
“What does it say?” I ask impatiently.
“I think I became his mom today,” she says with a sigh.
“No babe. You already were,” I respond.
**********
I am so honoured to announce that as a result of this post I was named as one of BlogHer's 2012 Voices of the Year.
This made me cry! Beautiful- and Congrats to Tracy on the legal title!
ReplyDeleteThank-you Steph!
DeleteAwwww! So great!!
ReplyDeleteagreed!
DeleteThat was so heart warming that I clicked on Top Mommy Blogs 5 times. Not sure if it works that way, but it deserved it!
ReplyDeleteHA! No, only once per 24 hours! But thank-you!
DeleteCongratulations! I'm so glad I get to read your blog. I feel like I'm part of a special group of people who gets to celebrate all the awesome things that keep happening to you--and we've never met! Thank you for sharing, and also for making me feel like I'm not alone as I take care of my 12-week-old baby boy.
ReplyDeleteaawww.... what a beautiful comment. Thank-you!
DeleteSo incredible!!!
ReplyDeleteThank-you :)
DeleteAmazing, and so close to home. Tears of joy for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you can understand the joy. The changing of everything and nothing.
DeleteBest.Post.Ever
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteSuch amazing news! Congratulations Tracy, Kristin and Mac! What a wonderful day for your family, and I am so thrilled to be witness to it :)
ReplyDeleteThank-you for witnessing. We feel so privileged to have so many people supporting us!
DeleteGreat recap of the special moments in becoming mommy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carly!
DeleteLove it.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
DeletePerfect!
ReplyDeleteMy wife and son certainly are!
DeleteFantastic blog post, Kris!! Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank-you Crystal!
DeleteOh - tears! So happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate that!
DeleteOmg! I'm balling! So amazing! Congrats to all! Reading this as I look down at my nursing 4 week old son just somehow puts it all into perspective!
ReplyDeleteI love that.
DeleteLove it! Love the video!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter was born in August and it took until April for her to legally, on paper, to be mine - I was happy it was over, but I felt no different - she was mine the minute she was conceived!!
Of course, then the state of California sent me a new birth certificate (even though I didn't request one, because they put both of our names on the original!) and they had REMOVED my wife's name from it. So we have 3 versions - her as the "mother"/me as the "father" - me as the "mother"/no "father" and Me as the "mother" her and "father"...
so ridiculous! I'm glad you finally have the right one!
DeleteSo perfect. And I'm in tears yet again reading your post... Congratulations on the legal stuff catching up to the reality!
ReplyDelete:) thanks Amanda!
DeleteI'm a fairly new reader, and although I have some catching up to do I just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog! I love your story, and this post was beautiful. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great comment! Thank-you so much!
DeleteI love the way you linked all these threads together with a single question. You're a beautiful writer -- and you have a beautiful story.
ReplyDeleteThank-you so much. Your kind words are very appreciated.
DeleteThat is an awesome post (I read last week's and loved it too). And that video brought tears to my eyes!
ReplyDeleteThank-you so much for saying that TriGirl!
DeleteBravo! Love the structure of this story and the reprisal of "Are you ready. . ." Beautiful ending, and you totally get a click from me on the Mommy Blog front; I'll try to remember to come back every twenty-four hours. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing! Thank-you!
DeleteFabulous story! Congrats on everything!
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteI'm visiting your blog for the first time and enjoyed reading this very much - congratulations on the wonderful news you received in the mail (even if it only made something official that was already there;))
ReplyDeleteIt certainly was! But the officialness is nice too :)
DeleteBeautiful. Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank-you. Just thank-you ;)
Deleteyou need a tissue alert on this one as i am bawling happy tears. congrats on all of it to all of you!!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that so much Robbie!
DeleteEEEEEeeeeekkkkk! Im so excited for you, Tracey and Mac...looks by the video that you have lots of friends/fam who were also excited to share in this amazing journey!
ReplyDeleteYes, we are very blessed!
DeleteThis brought a tear to my eye-you're right, being a mom is so much more than a birth certificate with your name printed on it. Tracy was a mom from the get-go from the day she passed you the artichoke jar. The video was great, by the way! You're a beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteShe certainly was. And we are privileged to live in a country where that "realness" can be official as well. Thank-you.
DeleteThis was gorgeous, creative, and extremely well-written. The love you and your wife have for each other emanates through the screen.
ReplyDeleteThank-you Kristin. Love is certainly something we have in abundance. :)
DeleteWhat a gorgeous story, so glad that I found your blog. What love you all have for each other.
ReplyDeleteThank-you Jessica. Yes, we are very, very lucky to love and be loved the way we do/are.
DeleteAnd love makes another family! Beautiful story, exceptional writing.
ReplyDeleteLove and an artichoke jar of sperm ;)
DeleteSuch a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing this with us. Following now.
ReplyDeletefollow back if you want to :(
Thank-you Helene.
DeleteAww how sweet! Congrats on your mommyhood(s)!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gia!
DeleteWhat a great story! Congratulations to you both. Mac's one lucky little guy :)
ReplyDeletewith two very lucky moms!
DeleteSweet telling of a story in bite size parts. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteWG
http://itsmynd.com
Thank-you WG!!
DeleteWHOOHOO!
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteThis is so heartwarming, i can feel the trickle of tears as I read this post. Congrats to both of you.
ReplyDeleteThank-you Jamiey!
DeleteOh that was so beautiful! Congrats on the legal title that she already held in all of your hearts. This was just the post I needed to read tonight after having a tough day. I can go to sleep with a smile now. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a kind comment. Thank-you.
DeleteCongratulations. So pleased for all three of you that your family is finally officially recognised. This is a beautifully written post and makes me so grateful for our situation in that, when our twins come along in July, my wife will be considered their parent from birth and will go on the birth certificate when we register it, the same time I will. I guess the UK is ahead of the game in some ways and that makes us fortunate. X
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome Laura! Had we used a sperm bank we would have had that option as well but since we used a known donor we couldn't legally put my wife's name on the birth certificate. We'll have to order a new one now though!
DeleteFantastic story about a wonderful family. I'm so glad to have met you through YW. Looking forward to more.
ReplyDeleteLove the video, too. (No pun intended.)
DeleteThanks Dude!
DeleteAwesome, awesome, awesome and chill-inspiring. Yay you two!!!
ReplyDelete~The G is Silent
:) :) Thanks Kim!
DeleteI just couldn't stop reading!
ReplyDeleteI'm honored. Thank-you.
DeleteI love the scenes and the repetition in the lines. Wonderful story-telling. Gorgeous story.
ReplyDeleteThanks from one Kristin to another :)
DeleteWhat a great story so well told. love the good humor and love here. Erin
ReplyDeleteYour story gives me hope that I might finally be a mom one day. Infertility be damned. Thank you for that--it's a rare thing.
ReplyDeleteAwww - I loved this. And now I'm crying at work. Great! I love how you presented it with the different moments in time. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteYour story makes me really happy - for both of you moms and for Mac, to be so loved. Here's another version of that parenting story: http://mannahattamamma.com/2011/08/whose-family-values-are-they-anyway-happy-adoption-day/
ReplyDeleteSo much love here. I echo everything everyone said in the previous comments. Great to have found your blog, I'm grateful.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post!
ReplyDeleteI'm late visiting this week- but thanks so much for linking up!
Beautiful post :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for participating in Blogging for LGBT Families Day! I loved the post when you wrote it in April, and I'm so glad you submitted it for the event!
ReplyDeleteJust came over from BlogHer VOTY (finally!) - this piece made me tear up and cheer. So happy for you and your family. And congrats on the recognition from BlogHer. Well deserved.
ReplyDeletethis post brought tears to my eyes! found your blog through the 100 Best Sites for Pregnancy and Parenting at the ultrasound site.
ReplyDelete