And in doing so has just legally become the father of two amazing children. If there was an in-law lottery our family has just won it three times over. The wedding took place in my parent's yard and I had the unofficial/it's-totally-official-if-you-say-it-is role of wedding planner (in addition to decorator, photographer, make-up artist, and bridesmaid). So when I said I have been busy I was not exaggerating. And in the last few days post-wedding I have been occupying my time making giant piles of tissue paper to jump in with Mac and my new niece. Priorities people!
So you will have to excuse the fact that I am phoning in this blog post. I thought maybe you'd like to read the speech I delivered at my brother's wedding. And while you do that I am going to have an early morning pyjama dance party with Mac and my niece.
I am so honoured to be standing here in front of all of you today. Lisa, it is with so much joy that I welcome you to our family. And Ryan, my only and favorite brother, I am so proud of the man you have become and the husband you are becoming. There are people in this room who have been married for far longer than I have. However, I am a woman, married to a woman, which I think affords me a unique perspective from which to offer you some marriage advice dear brother.
First, people will tell you never to go to bed angry. That's bullshit. Being sleep deprived will never help an argument. Go to bed pissed off and if you are still mad in the morning then continue the fight. Chances are it won't seem so bad when you are well rested.
Second, complement each other often and publicly. Criticize each other rarely and privately.
Third, when you are unhappy in your marriage focus on your partner's happiness. You are now a team and your happiness is codependent. When you focus on her happiness she will reflect that effort back to you. Understand that love isn't just an emotion. It is often a way of acting towards each other when you feel it the least.
Fourth, and this is a very important one dear brother. When she says it's OK, I'm not mad, do whatever you want - It's not OK, she is mad, and for the love of God do.not.do whatever you want.
And finally, my last and most important piece of advice was handed down to me from my late mother-in-law. She was a simple lady with a very happy marriage and her advice is probably the most profound wisdom I have ever received. Are you ready for this? There is pure brilliance about to come your way. There are two necessary ingredients to a happy marriage. The first is to find someone you like talking to. And I am so very glad that you have found that in Lisa. The second is to be kind to each other.
Please join me in raising your glasses to wish the new Mr. and Mrs. Ireland many, many years of kindness.