Thanks to a great deal found at www.dealangel.com Tracy, Tammy (Mac's Auntie Tata) and I will be heading to New York City to visit Andy (Mac's dad) and celebrate Tammy's 40th birthday!
We are beyond excited! But also quite nervous. This will be our first real traveling experience since the addition of Mac to our family and we are not entirely sure what to expect traveling to New York with a baby.
So please come on over to Facebook and help us out! On Friday June 1st from 11 AM to 1 PM EST we will be discussing family travel tips. What products are lifesavers? Where are the best places to go with a family? What games and activities help pass time in a car or on a plane? What are the best kid-friendly restaurants? Anything and everything family travel!
Plus, one lucky party guest will win a $10 gift card to the coffee establishment of your choice. Because when you are traveling with kids you need to keep up!
Picture it: You are searching through a local thrift shop. When suddenly, across the sale rack, you see something shiny. There, next to some second-hand slippers and a pair of old sneakers, are a pair of Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps with a red leather sole and gold chain enclosure.
Your heart speeds-up, just a little, and your palms go clammy. You do your best to saunter on back to the beauties that are beckoning you without arousing any suspicion. You pick them up and you know, you just know deep in your heart, that they are real. And when you turn the price tag over and see that the shop owner has them listed for one-tenth of their retail price you quickly head to the cash to pay and practically run out of the store like you are starring in an Ikea commercial yelling to your husband to Start the car! Start the car!
You know that feeling. I know you do. We've all been there once or twice. When we manage to find the absolute best deal imaginable and celebrate by bragging to all of our friends. It feels awesome right?
Well how great would it be if you could get that feeling when booking your next hotel stay? I know, I know, you've been on the regular travel deal sites and have been lost in the confusing details and fine print. If you are like me you have probably even drawn up a spreadsheet listing a variety of hotels from several different travel sites. But in the end it feels a bit like you are comparing apples and shishkebobs. It might even bring back memories of high school math problems. If hotel 1 offers a free continental breakfast, valet parking, is four stars and $215 a night while hotel 2 offers a free hot breakfast, self-parking, has a pool, is 3.5 stars and $175 a night which hotel is the better deal?
But in high school you had a balding teacher in a sweater vest to give you a formula to figure these things out. In the world of discount hotel pricesDealAngelis coming on the scene to be that balding teacher in the sweater vest. Only much, much cooler.
DealAngel is a whole new approach to discount hotel shopping. Co-founders Roman Peskin and Bob Rogers have truly revolutionized the way you are going to search for hotel deals. Think I am being overly dramatic? Let me explain.
Let's pretend you want to head to Washington DC with your family. Instead of searching many different travel sites to find the best deal you simply log on to www.dealangel.comand type in Washington DC. The first thing you will see is that they have highlighted the most and least expensive times to stay in Washington.
June is an expensive month, especially mid-week, so let's plan to go for the weekend of July 6th to 8th. Once you have selected your date, DealAngel will scan up to 30 different travel sites and then rank each hotel deal as great, good, OK, or poor. The rankings are based on the price histories of each hotel. For instance, if a hotel has consistently been more expensive than its competitors but suddenly drops in price to be cheaper that is a deal. It may be because they have a lot of unused rooms to fill or they may have simply listed an incorrect price. It doesn't really matter why. What's important is that you scoop up that deal quickly!
And to make your decision process even easier DealAngel also pinpoints the various hotels on a map so you know exactly where you are staying. They think of everything don't they?!
So let's say that after looking at the "great deals" you decide to stay at the Renaissance Washington, DC. Clicking on the property will now bring you to a list of all the hotel deal sites that are offering rooms at that hotel on those dates.
We can see from this list that RatesToGo.com has the best price at $226.70 for two nights. All you have to do now is click GO and you will be redirected to RatesToGo to book your deal. Seriously, that's it! But perhaps you have a long history of booking with hotels.com and would feel much more comfortable booking through them. Thanks to DealAngel you know that you are only spending an additional 60 cents.
And just like that you are all done. No drawing up complicated spreadsheets. No need for an advanced degree in statistical analysis. Just a few clicks and you have scored yourself a great deal! Now all that is left to do is go on your awesome family vacation. And I totally would not blame you at all if during dinner at the hotel restaurant you commented, rather loudly, to your family that you can't believe you only paid $113 a night! The other patrons are sure to be jealous and that's really what it's all about isn't it?
OK, OK, I know what you are thinking now. Well this sounds awesome Kristin but how did you hear about DealAngel and why are you promoting them?
So glad you asked! I can't resist a good deal. So when I found flights to New York for $120 return (I know right?!) I had to plan a last minute trip for Auntie Tata's 40th birthday. But after booking the flights I was left frustrated in a sea of competing hotel deals. So I turned to twitter to ask what hotel deal sites people prefer. And I got 15 different responses. Which wasn't at all helpful. And then Belindaswooped in like an angel (a DealAngel!) to answer my pleas for help. She explained to me how DealAngel works and I haven't looked back since. Take a look for yourself. I promise you that DealAngel is the last travel site you will ever need.
Want to stay up to date on the latests happenings at DealAngel? Follow them on twitter and like them on Facebook. You will want to pay close attention in June when they are holding a contest for a romantic weekend away!
Have more questions? Check out their FAQ pageor watch this video from co-creators Roman Peskin and Bob Rogers explaining the awesomeness of DealAngel.
**This post was sponsored by DealAngel. However all opinions are mine and mine alone. If you are a regular Mondays with Mac reader you know that I would never endorse a product or service that I wouldn't use myself. I am incredibly honoured to be able to introduce you to this revolutionary new way to find the best hotel deals on the net!
Before Mac was born I read plenty of baby books and blogs offering point form advice on how to baby-proof your marriage. This advice wasn’t at all helpful. Not because the content wasn’t brilliant but because I didn't think that I needed it. I was a lesbian after all and if you are at all familiar with my people you will know that we are totally awesome at processing our feelings and negotiating with our partners. It’s in our DNA right next to the must-wear-plaid gene.
And secondly, once Mac was here and Tracy was doing obnoxious things like complaining about being tired after sleeping for 8 straight hours or leaving her damn cereal bowl on the coffee table for the millionth time so that the cereal crumbs turned into cement on the bottom of the bowl, I was more likely to think of a ten-ways-to-murder-your-wife list than a ten-ways-to-baby-proof-your-marriage list.
The truth is that I have never loved or hated my wife more than I have in the last ten months. Seeing her emerge into her new role as my son’s mother has been more of a blessing than I can adequately describe. She has never been more sexy than when she is bouncing a grumpy baby around the room. I have also never imagined smothering her in her sleep just to stop the snoring more.
But we’re ten months into this baby thing and I’ve managed to both not murder my wife and stay married to her. Which really doesn’t qualify me to offer advice to new and soon-to-be parents but I’m gonna do it anyway. Most of you will ignore this advice because you are either still in denial that a baby can make marriage challenging or you are too busy plotting ways to kill your spouse. But if this list helps one lonely, grumpy, parent somewhere in Flin Flon Saskatchewan/Manitoba (totally a real place - that also happens to straddle two Canadian provinces) I will consider this time well spent.
1. Don't Score Keep Does this sound familiar? It’s 7 AM and you’ve been up with the baby more times through the night than your sleep deprived brain can count. Your partner has to work (outside of the home) so you have let him/her sleep, uninterrupted, for the last 8 hours. There is puke in your hair that you are too exhausted to clean and you are beginning to wonder if your baby is actually trying to no-sleep train you. The alarm goes off and your partner sleepily complains about being so tired. It’s normal if heinous murder plans are running through your head. But, the truth is that she/he probably heard you getting up with the baby at least a few times. She/he may have been restless through the night worrying about bills or college funds or your deteriorating mental state. Tired is tired and it is not a competition.
Being a stay-at-home parent can be really challenging. And so can being a working parent. Nobody can win the who-has-it-worse game so do yourselves a favour and forfeit before it begins.
2. Innocent until Proven Guilty You’ve bounced, rocked, fed, and sung to your baby and he is now finally (FINALLY) sleeping soundly. You place him gently into his crib and tiptoe out of the room. At that exact moment your partner enters the house with a slam of the door and a loud honey I’m home! You feel certain that she/he was standing outside the door waiting until his eyes closed. That’s not likely true. She/he probably also isn’t putting the diaper on wrong, forgetting to use baby friendly laundry soap, or picking-up the wrong formula brand on purpose. Give him/her the benefit of the doubt and hopefully you will be able expect the same in return.
3. Have Sex I’m no scientist but if I was I would be able to explain how childbirth and breastfeeding buries your sex drive in a deep hole, fills it in with dirt, covers it with cement and builds a 12 story apartment complex on top. It’s nature’s way of making sure our bodies have a chance to recover before we get pregnant again. But as a lesbian I can tell you that procreation certainly isn’t the only reason to have sex. And that’s all I’m going to say about that because my wife is still under the impression that this blog isn’t going to expose our private life to the world wide web.
4. Vocalize Appreciation My wife needs a lot of sleep. If she gets less than 8 hours a night everybody will suffer the next day. In contrast, even pre-baby I was lucky to get 4 solid hours. A history of insomnia coupled with my role as breast-feeder has meant that I have done 99% of the nighttime parenting. One day around week 8 I was feeling exhausted and asked Tracy if she would take a night shift. As morning broke and she was finally able to pass him back to me she said the kindest words I had heard in months: “that was so hard. I don’t know how you do that every night.”
Although I momentarily basked in that appreciation, the truth is that I don’t envy her at all. I know that trading his beautiful smile for the gray walls of cubicle-land each day must be incredibly difficult. I am so grateful that she is able to provide for our family so well while I stay home and care for our son. And when I vocalize this appreciation I can see the damn right! can I get an amen?! in her eyes. Don’t underestimate the power of a little appreciation.
5. If Mama Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy The same goes for Mommy, Daddy, or Papa. For better or worse, in baby giggles and epic meltdowns, you and your spouse are a team. Your happiness is co-dependent and if one of you is miserable the other one will be too. Want to make yourself happy? Try focusing on your partner’s happiness. It will be reflected back to you.
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I want to first begin by thanking the bloggers for participating and to the rest of you for reading. I laughed, I cried, and I was inspired. It's taken me a while to get this wrap up done. Mostly because I needed some time to marinate in your words. I mixed them up with some lavender bath salts and took a good long soak in your stories. They were beautiful. Each of them in their own way. I'm now ready to share with you some of my favourite parts. To see the screenshots of their posts below just click on the image to enlarge it.
Jennifer's post had me from Scantily Clad Mother Sums up Whole Parenting Experience in 638 word Postcard from Vegas. With a title like that you know you are in for a ride. And she certainly delivers! New moms listen-up! When people tell you that you won't ever sleep again they are very wrong. You will sleep. It just might be face down in some cheerios.
OutlawMama had me absolutely cracking-up and both wanting to go to Mardi Gras and being thankful that I've never been.
Dawn at Happiness Cubedis a girl after my own Mama-heart. She sees the beauty in motherhood. I see the beauty in her. As the mother of 3 she wrote her postcard from home with broken crayons and decorated it with a coffee ring. She's keeping it real Mama-style. But what really got me was her comment on my Facebook wall. Say it with me now.... aaaawwwwwww.
Jennifer over at A Mother's Fitness to Love inspires us to travel to that far off land of motherhood where everything is different and life is chaotic while still remaining true to ourselves. She reminds us that we need to take the time to take care of our physical and emotional health. This was a post I really needed. Especially as I was preparing for my first overnight trip away from Mac and feeling guilt, guilt, guilt. I came back refreshed, more in love with my wife than ever, and excited to see my baby. She was right.
That covers part 1 of our journey. My eyes are too weary to keep driving so I'm going to have to pull over and try to find a motel that doesn't house a murderous local living in the last room. I hope you'll travel with me again tomorrow.
This carnival was sponsored by MyChiChi Baby, a designer children's boutique without the designer boutique price tag. MyChiChi Baby was the perfect fit for this carnival because it allows moms to dress their babies like they could be on a teen-tiny-tots runway in Paris while spending like they are on Canal Street in New York City. The clothes are adorable, affordable, and very high quality. You really can't go wrong with this site! Here are a few of my favourites. Click on the images to take you to their page.
Bad to the Bone Couture $48
Child Star $35.25 (better known as the outfit that makes my uterus hurt and my wife scared that we will keep having babies until I have a girl)
And check out these funky ties only $5.85. I really think Mac can pull off the pink plaid.
And that's just a tease! Wait until you see the baby and kid shoes. Seriously! And at prices that allow you to splurge! You're welcome.
If you are new here you should probably start with this post, it will make what you are about to read make more sense.
Dear Shirley,
We turned around, we blinked, and suddenly it has been five years since I last wished you a Happy Mother's Day in person. I still have to do the math as I write that. Five years? Could it really be that long already?
I can remember the first mother's day that Tracy spent without you. That was a hard one. My mom visited, and other people reached out, and that was nice. But none of it really mattered to your daughter. She missed you. So much that it hurt. And even though it had been four months since your passing she could still hardly believe that you were gone. There was a surreal-ness to it all. Like it couldn't really be true. People, everywhere, can't simply just loose their mothers and go on living like nothing has changed. Can they?
But what she didn't quite grasp then was that you don't loose your mother and go on living unchanged. It changes you. The grief sucks you in and molds you. It's like taking a piece of dough and kneading it. Thoroughly pounding and stretching it. Love and exertion and tears mix into the batter. And then it is rolled out - stretched until it becomes something else entirely. And as it bakes it finishes the transition. No longer an unsuspecting ball of dough. Now it is bread. Not better or worse. Just very different.
But after only four months without you she was still drowning in the grief. Being pounded and kneaded but not yet ready to be stretched and rolled out. Five years later things are different. The transition is complete. Time has not lessened the grief but it has softened the rough edges. And what remains is a longing. Your daughter has come to terms with the fact that she will never again touch your face or feel the warmth of your hugs. But she misses you. And so do I.
This Mother's Day is different. As you know we have had a pretty phenomenal year. I don't know if you had any hand in choosing Mac for us, but if you did - WELL DONE! He is the absolute picture of perfection. He is everything that we hoped he would be and more than we could have ever imagined. Just like the early days after your death, when it seemed too inconceivable to believe that we would never see you again in this lifetime, it feels entirely unbelievable that he is ours. It's funny how those two extreme emotions, of grief and of gratitude, can feel the same in your stomach.
But it is in times of celebration that your daughter often feels your loss the most. And I know that you know this. Because every.single.time you send us a smiley face and let us know that you are watching. And we appreciate those smiley faces more than you will ever know. You taught your daughter to be skeptical, to protect herself and her heart. You taught her to be smart and think critically. And she is and does all of those things. But when you send her a smiley face she forgets all that. Her eyes well up with tears and she just believes. So thank-you. Please keep sending them.
As this Mother's Day approached I knew she was missing you. And I was hoping that you would send us a smiley face to let us know that you were watching, wishing your daughter a happy first Mother's Day from beyond this world. But my Mama taught me to make things happen so instead of waiting for you to send us a message I brought your daughter to you. I suggested that we visit your grave and see the smiley face on your tombstone instead.
I'm sorry we don't visit you there more. Although I know that you aren't there and that crying at a graveyard is the last thing you'd want us to be doing. We are more likely to find you when we turn up the music and dance around in the kitchen with Mac in our arms making silly faces. We are more likely to find you at a flea market bartering little old ladies out of their bingo winnings. We are more likely to find you in a smile. And, I promise, we do find you in those places. But today we also found you at your grave.
As we approached your tombstone, the one your husband lovingly picked out through red tear-filled eyes, I gave your daughter's hand a quick squeeze. She smiled and introduced you to your grandson who was full of coos and smiles and arm waves. And then she sat him down on your grave. Before I could stop myself I was lecturing her. Babe don't let him sit there. It's disrespectful.
And your daughter laughed at me.
Do you think Shirley cares if he sits on top of her? She would want him to dance right here on this spot.
And she's right. She's a smart one your daughter. So our little family of three took a seat. We laughed and we played. We snuggled and we chatted.
And then it was time to go so we said our good-byes and wished you a Happy Mother's Day. It was bitter sweet. And the bitter and the sweet worked together to make each other stronger. The sweetness of our precious baby boy was magnified by the bitter of your absence. And the bitter of your absence was magnified by the sweetness of our son.
I'm not sure why I started this letter and now I'm not sure how to end it. I just wanted you to know that you were not forgotten on this, or any other, Mother's Day. I want you to know that we are treasuring your grandson and taking the absolute best care of him that we can. And I want you to know that you raised your girl right. You would be so proud of the Mom she has become. Also, please keep sending us smiley faces. They never cease to make us smile.
Your always grateful daughter-in-law,
Kristin
Please join me in welcoming Fireweed Impressions Jewelry as a MWM sponsor. Fireweed Impressions Jewelry is Canadian mother and daughter team who make beautiful custom jewelry pieces that are works of art as well as sentimental keepsakes. A perfect mother's day gift.
Yesterday Time Magazine released the cover of their current issue. The contents were still not available but the cover showed a picture of 26 year old Jamie Lynne Grumet looking defiantly at the camera while her almost-4-year-old son stands on a chair to breastfeed. The provocative headline reads “Are You Mom Enough?” And the side text works to pit attachment parenting against more mainstream mothering as well as “the French rejection” (which is a veiled reference to Élisabeth Badinter’s Le conflit).
I cringed when I saw it. What does it mean to be mom enough? What benefit will it serve to position mothers against each other in some kind of machismo mommy-eat-mommy duel? I have a deeply feminist heart and my desire is always (always!) to support other women and especially other mothers. I work to stand behind those women who parent in ways that reflect my own style and those who parent in ways that are completely contradictory to my own way of thinking.
I have developed a parenting style that reflects what is in the deepest part of my heart. And for me that has included co-sleeping, (breast) feeding on demand, and pleasant night-time parenting. However, I will fight with all of my mama-bear ferociousness for other moms to practice crying-it-out, formula feeding (whether by choice or necessity), and crib sleeping without judgement. I will do that because other moms are my community. It is in their company that I am building my home. And it is by their side, as they exist in both my physical and online communities, that I have found my village.
So when I saw the Time Magazine cover, with it’s attempt to fan the dying flames of the supposed mommy wars, I felt an instant need to protect our community just as I would if a predator was attacking my home. My instinct was to bolt the doors and close the shades. We aren’t home Time Magazine. Please peddle your ineffective inflammation elsewhere.
And you know what happened? I wasn’t alone. Instead of jumping on the my-parenting-is-better-than-your-parenting bandwagon and dividing our community into waring sides, moms (celebrity moms, blogging moms, working moms and stay at home moms) instead focused their critique on the media’s representation of the supposed battle.
We, all of us moms, those who serve their children organic kale chips and those who open cans of Zoodles, stood as hostages for only a brief moment. Like contestants in the Hunger Games we were being asked to fight against one another for the enjoyment of those overseeing our struggle. But like Katniss, Peeta, Finnick, and Johanna, we instead banded together and refused to play the game. Moms who would never consider extended breastfeeding took to the internet to defend those moms who are still nursing happy toddlers. And, in turn, those extended nursers raised their keyboards to fight for the rights of non-nursing moms to feed their children without shame or fear of judgement.
Our village stood united. And for that I thank-you my Mamas-in-Arms. With this kind of solidarity and support I think that we can resist the conflict that serves only to divide and conquer us. Today we were a fierce bunch of warriors. And I think that the odds are ever in our favour.
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How
did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here
before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn.
Dr.
Seuss
Her legs curl up into her belly, tucking and folding, all
squishy and brand new. I forgot about the curling. The way newborn legs haven’t
yet learned the infinity of space. Hers curl perfectly, like an old love letter
that has sat folded through time so that the creases are permanent.
And there’s a tear in my eye because I forgot about the
folding. I think back to the hours I spent watching my newborn. Memorizing the
lines on his toes and the curl of his fingers. I knew that no camera could
capture the endless wonder and promised myself that I would document it all with my
heart. I would remember every noise and every scent and every inch of him. But
already I forgot the curled legs. How could I forget the curled legs?
Mac’s legs don’t curl anymore. They kick. And they stretch.
And they propel him across the room. And it feels like an eternity ago and
yesterday that they were curled in the crook of my arm all warm and snuggly.
They are nine months apart. The length of one full
pregnancy. She was conceived the week Mac was born. I like to think that he was
her good luck charm. Still with connections on the other side, he smiled at his
Auntie Valerie as she held him, her heart bursting with joy and envy, and told
her that he knew the perfect baby for her. I’ll
make a call he whispered in her ear as his legs curled into his belly.
Her mum asks if I’d like to hold her and I jump at the
chance. But the handoff is rocky.
I know now what she’s doing as she passes her to me. Letting me hold her whole
entire world in my arms. Outwardly she is calm and collected but inside she is screaming. Hold her head! Hold her head!
I don’t hold Mac’s head anymore. I hold him upside down by
his ankles and tickle his ribs until he’s laughing so hard that he can’t
breathe. I toss him over my shoulder and ask his mom if she ordered a sack of
potatoes. And then we spin around until we collapse into a heap on the floor.
Giggles tangled around legs. Bellies covered in kisses.
It seems impossible that he was ever that little. How do the
parents of grown-up babies reconcile the conflicting images of infant and
adult? How must my mother feel as her son peers down at her from a foot above?
9 Months
Time in parenthood is both sped up and slowed down. The
hands on the clock dance back and forth. Slow and then fast and then slow
again. Hours that are long. Days that are short. Nine months fly and crawl by.
And in the middle of it all we stand still. Baby in our arms. Child in our
hearts. For a moment the clock
stops. The three of us. A picture of our little family freezes in time for just
a second. And then the bell rings, the hands on the clock gain momentum, and we
are off. The squeals of a nine month old trumpet us into the next moment in
time. Slow and fast. Good and better.
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I'm linking this post up with Yeah Write. Click on the image below to read posts from talented bloggers.
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, step-right up to the Postcards from Parenthood Blog Carnival!
If you are new to Mondays with Mac you might want to start here to see what this carnival is all about!
Make sure you have this button inserted into your post before you link-up. Then enter your info below.
Once you've linked-up please share you post via your favourite social media channels and encourage your readers to come and checkout the other great posts.
I will leave the link-up open until Monday and then next week will post some of your inspiring words on Mondays with Mac.
Make sure you come back on Monday to vote for your favourite posts (you can vote three times) and encourage your readers to do the same. The blogger with the most votes will win a $100 gift certificate from My ChiChi Baby.
MyPostcards from Parenthood Blog Carnivalgoes live tomorrow and I could not be more excited! I can't wait to read your words of wisdom, joy, sadness, wit, and snark.
The carnival was inspired by a post I wrote for my friends Val and Martyas they embarked on their journey as first-time-parents-to-a-newborn. And I chose May 2nd as the date for the carnival as it was their precious daughter's due date. Well, I am happy to announce that baby Gabi made her way into the world a little early. I guess babies don't read boarding passes. Or maybe it was the airline's fault. Either way she arrived on Sunday April 29th and is the absolute picture of perfection. And, as predicted, her moms are totally rocking their now role.
At Val and Marty's baby shower we passed around miniature "postcards from Paris" and asked the parents in the room to fill them out with words of wisdom for the moms-to-be. I'd like to share a few with you today.
And finally, one from my always succinct and equally clever wife:
Feeling inspired? Write a post on your own site that relates to this topic and then insert this button somewhere on the post. Then come back tomorrow and link-up! If you run into any problems you can email me at kristin@mondayswithmac.com.
Happy travels!
*This carnival is being sponsored by www.mychichibaby.com. My ChiChi Baby and Mondays with Mac both believe that parenthood is a journey. Sometimes it is beautiful. Other times it is difficult. We look forward to reading your stories.
