Monday 17 September 2012

The Painted Couch - A How To Story

When my brother asked his girlfriend to marry him we celebrated by taking engagement pictures in the field across the street from where we grew up. I knew I wanted to use that field as a backdrop for their wedding pictures and I envisioned the two of them enjoying a post-nuptual cuddle while relaxing on a couch placed in the field. This is the step-by-step story of how I got that couch.

1. Convince the bride and groom, and everyone else involved, that a couch in the middle of the field is a great idea.

2. When everyone thinks it's a terrible idea ignore them and look for the perfect couch.

3. Scour yard sales and Kijiji in search of a couch that fits your vision and is under $50.

4. Conclude that you are more likely to find a talking unicorn.

5. Convince the bride and groom that you can paint that old vinyl couch in your parents' basement in their wedding colour.

6. Remember that you have never painted anything in your life and convince your wife that she should paint that old vinyl couch in your parents' basement turquoise blue.

7. Buy one bottle of Martha Stewart tintable fabric medium.

8. Tell your plans to the paint department at Lowe's Home Hardware.

9. Have the paint department at Lowe's Home Hardware laugh at you. 

10. Continue to convince your wife that even though the people at Lowe's Home Hardware think you have lost your mind that it is still a good idea to paint an old vinyl couch turquoise blue. 

11. Buy half a gallon of Valspar Pool Party Blue paint (we got by with just using the 8 ounce sample jar but we only did two coats since it was just for a picture. If you are going to do this for your home you should do three coats).

12. Mix 2 parts paint to 1 part fabric medium. 

13. Bring your wife beer and sandwiches while she paints the couch and grumbles about her wife and her hair brained schemes. 

14. Bring her another beer.

15. Let dry and paint second coat (preferably three coats if you didn't cheap out and only buy the 8 ounce sample can of paint).

16. Check out the awesome looking couch and offer a round of I TOLD YOU SO!s and NANANANA BOOBOOs to everyone who doubted you. 

You're welcome. 

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