Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, 22 February 2016

A Tale of Two Moms (and their photographing of one son)

My son Mac lives with his two moms. I carried him and was able to do so with the help of his dad, an artichoke jar, and a lot of luck and love. I love watching the person he is becoming. He is goofy and funny. He has warm hands and cold feet.  You can regularly find him making his My Little Pony's battle and painting the toenails on his dinosaurs. He knows the eating habits and natural predators of obscure animals from around the world. And he loves to organize his toys. Physically, he's got some of me and a lot of his dad. But he also has all of my wife's sarcasm and her love of cuddling.

Despite being his own person, he is also the reflection of us to the world. This really became clear to me recently when Tracy and I styled our own separate Mac photoshoots. What I love most about Mac is his bright and inquisitive nature. I love to see him in bright colours. And since I am on the dorky side myself, I am also more likely to dress him in sweaters with elbow patches. On the other hand, Tracy loves when Mac does impressions. She is fiercely proud of (and takes credit for) his sense of humour. And so, when we each dressed him, this is what happened:


And so I wonder, which Mac is the real Mac? Ultimately I think that the answer is both and neither. At the tender age of 4 he is a little bit of each of the moms who are raising him. He is the innermost parts of ourselves that we want to present to the world. And he is himself - that autonomous being who is just figuring out his likes and dislikes. The sweet kid who will grow into his own person. However, one thing is certain - being able to witness and participate in this forming of a human being is, and continues to be, an immense privilege. And I am very grateful for it. 




Want to see more photos from both shoots? You are in luck! They are below. And if you are in Ottawa, Ontario and want photos of your own little ones please check out my family and unposed personality galleries. 












Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Mac and Andy, Andy and Mac


If you are not new to this blog you will already know that my wife Tracy and I made our son Mac with the help of his dad Andy. If you ARE new here then you can check out a bit of our story here or here or here

Making a child in this queer context brings up some contradictory thoughts on biology. On the one hand, biology matters. My wife and I spent countless hours debating on how we should best grow our family. And we chose Andy to be a part of our child's life (and ours) very carefully. We wanted our child to know that part of himself. And we wanted him to have access to the extended family created by virtue of his biology. 

But, at the same time, biology doesn't matter at all. Legally, Mac is as much my wife's son as he is mine (his biological mother). And in the ways that matter more than legal paperwork, he is entirely hers. She is the one he wants first when he is hurt. She is the one who comforts him in the middle of the night. When we play Go Fish it is always them (the "cool guys") against me. 

And so we marvel at how much our son looks like his dad because it's fun to see those similarities. But we know that while the biological connection between them matters, the love they share matters so much more. 

I see so much of Andy in Mac. And I think Andy sees it too. When Mac looks up at his dad and comments on how he's "missing some hair up there" Andy laughs and warns Mac that he will be next. 



They have the same ears. And they share that smile that is so big that their eyes need to close to make room on their faces. But we chose Andy not for his charming smile or bright eyes. We chose him because he was kind and funny and generally just a really good guy. And as Mac grows I can see those qualities in him too. And that's why biology matters. And doesn't at all. 





Want to see more photos from Mac and Andy's shoot? You are in luck! They are below. What do you think? Does Mac look like his Dad? 


All photos are from Mondays with Mac Photography. We happily serve Ottawa, The Ottawa Valley, and Sudbury.
The banner behind them is from GenWoo

















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