Monday 19 November 2012

Answering your FAQs (Round Two)

Two weeks ago I celebrated one year of blogging. Which feels like a really big accomplishment for me. Even though it just means that for the last year I have self-indulgently sat at my computer and told stories about how fantastic the top of my kid's head smells, finding sperm on the internet, and the intricacies of lesbian motherhood. And, miraculously, you've kept reading.

To celebrate this blogiversary I told you that you could ask me any questions you had about me, this blog, or my family. You did and I answered. But then you had more questions so I told you we would do this Q&A thing one more time.

So here we are. Now you know me a little better.

I'm really struck by your selfless offer to be a surrogate for Andy in the event that they want children. Have you also volunteered your eggs? I know that Andy is a part of your family but I'm not sure I would be strong enough to act as a surrogate only, particularly if it were my biological child. I'd also be interested to hear how you would make that work for both families. 
No, I did not volunteer my own eggs. Which is something I feel a bit guilty about. I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about how biology does not create family so it feels a bit hypocritical to selfishly hoard those tiny little eggs that are going to waste each month. It also feels presumptuous and arrogant to feel guilty about that as Andy and Raff may have absolutely no desire for these Canuck eggs that I'm holding onto. But I've given the whole thing a lot of thought and I know I could process the experience of growing someone else's child in my womb but I wouldn't be able to grow "my own" child and then give him/her to someone else to raise. I can't really explain or justify those feelings. They just are. But waking up every day to Mac's smiling face has been the most amazing experience of my life and if I had the opportunity to give that joy to someone else then I would jump at the chance.

I should also make it clear that (to my knowledge) Andy and Raff have absolutely no plans of having children at this moment. So this is really all random musing and speculations on my part.

How did you know Andy was "the one"?
When I read his online profile I had butterflies in my stomach. And from there it was love at first email. It all just seemed too perfect not to be fate.

Does Tracy's family accept Mac as their own?
Yes, absolutely. And so does his Auntie Tata's family.

Where do I find myself an Auntie Tata?
I have no idea. But you absolutely can't have Mac's.

How many times a year does Andy see Mac?
Well Mac is 15 months old and Andy has been to Ottawa about five or six times. And on top of that we have travelled to visit him three times.

Are you a stay at home/work at home mom? What did you do before you had Mac? Do you plan on returning to regular employment (if you were employed in a "regular" work environment?) Do you miss it?
Pre-Mac I was struggling to make my home in academia. He changed my life, my hopes, and my dreams in ways I could have never anticipated. My staying home with Mac became (surprisingly) incredibly important to both me and my wife. To make that happen I have taken in my neighbour's son (and Mac's BFF) Jordan four days a week. He is the sweetest toddler around and watching him is totally my pleasure. I have also started Mondays with Mac Photography and am pouring my whole heart into it. Seeing it come to fruition is an absolute dream come true.

Does Mac call Andy Daddy?
At the moment he calls him dadadadada. But someday he will call him Daddy.

In the post titled The Unraveling, when you revealed that you were struggling with post partum depression you mentioned that you had been working day and night on a project - and then the project failed. Curious to know what the project was and what went wrong! ... And another question which will have the same answer... OK, am I dreaming this or were you calling your photography business something else before? Do you have a new Facebook page for MWM photography?
In August I started a photography business with a partner. But we quickly figured out that the logistics just weren't working so we parted amicably. I was very fearful about going out on my own. But I took  deep breath and jumped in (and dragged my talented wife along with me). Since the new business is just called Mondays with Mac Photography I have just maintained my current fan page

When we met, you were in the PhD program and your research was so interesting. Do you have any plans to return to academia? If not, how did you make the decision to leave?
I don't ever want to say never. But for now I'm loving my new business and the schedule is working for my family. I've started to make decisions based on what's best for my heart - and those decisions have been very easy to make.

Did you find out the sex of your baby before he was born? Had you been (secretly) hoping for either a girl or a boy?
Yes, we did and I was (not secretly) hoping for a girl. But now that Mac's here I have realized what a privilege it is to have a son. And if I am ever blessed with a daughter I am sure I will feel the exact same way. 
This was like a million years ago, but who won the fan appreciation contest... and what was the prize you spent Tracy's hard-earned money on?! I was so curious and I could never find the post 
that announced the winner!
Oops - I guess I forgot to blog about it. The winner was Krista from Calgary and she won a MWM mug. 

How did you and Tracy decide who's last name to take when you got married? Also, Maclean is such an original name; does it hold any special meaning/how did you come up with it?
Her maiden name was Green so I petitioned hard for Greenland which would be a combination of both of our names. Always the fun-ruiner Tracy thought that idea mocked our marriage. She thought Ireland was a cool name so she jumped ship. The name Maclean didn't hold any special significance for us. I was talking about how I liked last names as first names and my friend Sara suggested Maclean and we loved it. However, his middle name is Andy's middle name, Andy's dad's name, and Tracy's dad's middle name so it has special meaning. 

You said that you don't want to disrespect your previous relationships with men. So are you equally attracted to men and women? Is there any scenario that would see you with a man again? 
I'm attracted to masculinity - whether that manifests itself in a female or male bodied person. Although I am most attracted to butch women (which is incredibly convenient since I married one). 

I love everything you write. Do you ever do speaking engagements? 
You are too sweet. Thank-you. I haven't but I would be happy to. Do you have something in mind?

Do you have any training/education in writing? Have you ever thought of publishing a book?
No, I don't have any education in creative writing. And yes, I have thought and dreamt of publishing a book. Hopefully that's a possibility someday! 

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