1. There is no such thing as letting your child play with your phone "just once."
2. The cost of the toy is inversely related to how much your child will like it.
3. Except for Sophie the Giraffe. That $30 chew toy is like baby crack.
4. Conversely, the cost of your electronics is directly proportional to how much your child will like them.
5. There is no better smell than the top of your baby's head right after a bath.
6. No matter the age of your child, parents with older children will always tell you that the next stage will be much harder.
7. The secret to making your baby nap longer is to make plans right after nap time.
8. No matter how closely your child resembles a tasmanian devil hopped up on pixie sticks during the day s/he will always look like a peaceful, angelic, cherub while sleeping.
9. Some days keeping your child alive is an accomplishment worthy of a parade. On those days forgo the parade and open a bottle of wine instead. You deserve it.
10. This stage, the one you are in right now, whether it is heaven on earth or a nightmare, will be over soon. You won't enjoy every moment - trying to is the surest way to make yourself miserable. But take a moment every day to enjoy, really enjoy, the miracle that is unfolding before you. You won't regret it.