A little over five years ago Tracy and I were shopping when we stopped to look at some cute little dog clothes. At the time we only had a cat but that didn’t stop me from suggesting that we get the tiny camouflage t-shirt. Tracy rolled her eyes. “Maybe if you let me get a dog,” she replied. I was unaware that I was the one impeding a dog adoption.
“We can get a dog if you want,” I responded and then saw her entire face light up like it was Christmas morning.
“Really?” She asked, her face full of hope.
“Really,” I replied, almost in a whisper, a bit confused by the sudden burst of emotion. It wasn’t long before The Fergus was making himself at home in our hearts. Tracy was dealing with the impending death of her mother and Fergus seemed to be the only thing that could make her smile. Suddenly she was waking up an hour earlier than necessary to spend extra precious minutes with the tiny ball of fur.
We spent the equivalent of a mortgage payment on a crate, toys and a tiny wardrobe fit for a king (or a princess – his gendered identity was fluid after all).
For the next five years he lived at the center of our universe. At night we tried to convince him to snuggle between our faces. He usually obliged for a few minutes before shaking off our cuddles and burrowing down under the covers and out of our reach.
We joked that he was just counting down the days until his moms would have a human baby. We were smothering him. My love for Fergus was so intense that while pregnant I actually wondered if I would love my child as much as I loved my dog. We swore we’d never be the kind of parents who ignored the dog when the human baby came along. Not us!
And then Maclean was born. At first Fergus seemed pleased with the new addition to our family. Mac’s insistence on sleeping while walking for the first few months of his life meant that Fergus got a lot (A LOT!) of walks.
But days passed and Mac’s needs increased. Or rather, they continued to be intense and I got tired. It turns out that babies need a lot of touching. And at the end of the day I often feel touched out. The poor Fergus is paying the price. I didn’t quite realize how much until this morning. It was 10:30 AM, four hours after we woke-up, before I realized that neither of us had taken the dog outside. The poor defeated pup had gone back to bed.
My heart broke a little when I entered the room and saw his little tail wag hesitantly. I left Mac with Tracy and took him on an extra long walk. I was trying to assuage my guilt. But as we walked he repeatedly turned around to make sure I was still there. His eyes caught mine and his tail wagged. He was still the happy little puppy that made our lives so much more enjoyable five years ago.
I know our lives are busier these day mister. But I promise that your moms love you as much as ever. And I promise that tonight I will smother you with snuggles until you retreat under the covers to get away from me.
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Awww too sweet. Smother that little man with snuggles from me, too- he is adorable!ReplyDelete
Awww. Don't feel guilty, Gordy was in the same boat, but now that Scarlett walks, she wants to take HIM for walks ALL THE TIME...like he is done and she wants to keep going LOL. ;)ReplyDelete
Like the anthem for gay youth everywhere I will tell The Ferg that "it gets better." Thanks Sara.Delete
Oh my goodness, I *TOTALLY* know what you mean. We treated our 1st dog, Coco, like royalty prior to baby. Cuddled at night, taught her tricks, groomed her. But then our son arrived, and everything changed. Her barking at the door was not so cool anymore especially if I had just put baby down for a nap. We had mornings also where she wasn't taken out til 1030am either! She annoyed me at times! I'm so bad!ReplyDelete
She still gets her regular 4 walks. We still try to train her everyday, but grooming has fallen to the wayside. And cuddling only after baby has gone to bed.
Add insult to injury, we silly people got a second dog -- a puppy!! He's the lowest on the foodchain, unfortunately. But so cute, so I do feel guilty. We walk 4 times, with Coco. We train. We cuddle-ish. But he sure got the short end of the stick.
Bright side is that baby and puppy love each other very much and I'm excited to see their relationship grow. Sry for long comment!
Thanks for your response Lisa! So good to know we aren't alone! It's the feelings of annoyance that make me feel the worst too.Delete
We are so worried about our little guy's reaction when our son arrives this summer. I totally understand about the love thing - it's hard to imagine loving someone more. Nice post :)ReplyDelete
I didn't believe it was possible!Delete
Awww such a sweet yet heart-breaking post. We often say we don't know what Willow will do when a tiny human comes along, and we too always say we won't be "those kind of Mums", but well, you don't intend to be, it's just the way it turns out. But you're right, it will get better for our faithful hounds!ReplyDelete
You're Fergus is beautiful by the way, he looks like a white version of Willow!
S and L xx
Thank-you - we think he's pretty adorable too!Delete
When Mac is old enough to show his love to Fergus, you'll be so happy that you have a dog and that your son gives him extra love! Your guilt will be all gone....ReplyDelete
Oh gawd. That face, that fuzzy face. I need a Fergus.ReplyDelete
I love the spider man costume!ReplyDelete
This post totally struck a cord with me - Roli, our 85lbs Alaskan Husky is an outside dog, and he did get neglected when Kirra was first born.ReplyDelete
But, I can't wait for this summer! Kirra LOVES the cat, and loves all the dogs in her life (ours, my parents, the ILs) and I hope that they get to play together a lot this summer - now that she's bigger and he's learning how to deal with a much smaller playmate!
...we're taking bets on when she tries to ride him, LMAO!
This is the part that worries me the most. G is s very cuddled and loved puppy. It is on my list, in BIG LETTERS not to let her feel pushed to the side. But it is nice to see I am not alone.ReplyDelete